Drafts
by AllINeedIsALittleFelix
Summary: It's often the words that are left unspoken which are the loudest. A story which focuses on all things unsaid between one Sherlock Holmes and one John Watson. A really short read. Canon-compliant.
1. Season 2

**A/N: Another one of those TRF oneshots.**

 **By the way, I want to read some good angsty Johnlock. Preferably short. Ideas?**

Mycroft almost choked on his tea. When he asked his team to document the success of Operation Lazarus and its aftermath (dismantling Moriarty's web), he had expected a nice little file which basically spelled out _success_.

The file was precisely that, until Mycroft found Sherlock's texts neatly printed in a book as an account of the clean-up he did. What he didn't anticipate, however, was a nice little subsection reserved for Sherlock's and John's conversation. Mycroft knew for a fact that Sherlock and John never communicated those two years. Curious, he read the report with interest.

"This report contains conversations between William Sherlock Scott Holmes and other people, which include Mycroft Holmes and John Hamish Watson during the time period codenamed _Search_.

Please note that these conversations have been arranged in chronological order and the details have been omitted for the sake of brevity.

Also note that these reports contain the following messages – messages that have been sent, messages that failed to reach the other person due to network issues and messages stored as drafts."

Part III: William Sherlock Scott Holmes and John Hamish Watson.

Sherlock: (draft) Mycroft says death makes people like you. It's a strange feeling, looking at your own coffin.

John: (draft) Why did you jump?

Sherlock: (draft) I'll be honest. I was looking forward to your eulogy at my funeral today. Why didn't you come?

Sherlock:(draft) I know why you didn't. You believed me. You think I'm fake. I don't blame you.

John: (draft) I know you aren't a fake. No one will ever be able to convince me otherwise.

John: (draft) You never really cared about me, did you? I was nothing but a tool.

Sherlock: (draft) You never really cared about me, did you? You wanted the adrenaline rush.

John: (draft) All you had to do was stay.

Sherlock: (draft) Many happy returns, John.

Sherlock: (draft) I'm sorry you ever met me.

John: (draft) The world is once again the blur it was before you happened. Please come back.

Sherlock: (draft) I sometimes whisper your name into the winds, hoping they would reach you.

John: (draft) I look at the stars and I like to think one of them is you.

John: (draft) I have no one to talk to. Everyone reminds me of you.

Sherlock: (draft) I composed a song yesterday. It's called "Soldier".

Sherlock: (draft) I am not really good at expressing gratitude but I hope, no, _need_ you to know how much you mean to me.

Sherlock: (draft) I miss you.

John: (draft) I love seeing you smile. Even though it's about a murder.

John: (draft) I still remember the day we met. 29th January, 2010.

Sherlock: (draft) You had me hooked when you shot the cabbie. 30th January, 2010.

John: (draft) You're wrong, you know. You are a hero. Always were, always will be.

Sherlock: (draft) This is the problem with getting attached to someone. I feel so lost without you.

John: (draft) I did nothing today. That describes my life perfectly now. Empty.

Sherlock: (draft) Sometimes, I just want to look you at you straight in the eye and yell "I'm alive!"

Sherlock: (draft) I'm really scared about what will happen after this - Would you forgive me? Would you even remember me?

John: (draft) Why stay in my heart when you can't stay in my life?

Sherlock: (draft) I wonder if you think about me as much as I think about you.

Sherlock: (draft) One more year and I'll come back home. Come back to you. If you still want me, that is.

John: (draft) I'll wait forever. Just so you know.

John: (draft) It started with the butterflies but you could have warned me that it would end in pain.

Sherlock: (draft) I hope someone's looking after you the way I did before.

John: (draft) I'm using the cane again. Never thought I would need it.

John: (draft) Remember that time when our biggest problem was who would get the milk?

Sherlock: (draft) I never told you this, but I didn't need to get high when you were with me. I was high on you. But now...

John: (draft) What if I didn't meet Stamford that day?

Sherlock: (draft) What if I told you how I really felt when I could?

John: (draft) I love you, Sherlock Holmes.

Sherlock: (draft) I love you, John Watson.

 **A/N: There are no words to describe how guilty I feel about my incomplete fics. I'm trying to complete them in their entirety and then post the chapters once a week so you wouldn't have to wait a month for new chapters. For what it's worth, I'm really really sorry.**

 **Please please please review**


	2. Season 3

**A/N: Thanks to SIlentRaven97 for her most useful criticism. It really means a lot to me.**

 **Read this fic aloud. It gets much better. Add sad music.**

Mycroft was never adept with emotions. Not to be confused with ignorant, however. Mycroft understood emotions all too well. He knew enough to manipulate people into doing his bidding. He knew what emotions could make a person do. What he didn't know however, was to deal with such emotions when it was his younger brother feeling these things. Relationships were always tricky, especially when the other party is married. Mycroft dare not gamble with such risky odds. So Mycroft did what he could, despite his better judgment. He continued tapping Sherlock's and John's phones. The results were, well, unexpected.

Sherlock: (draft) This is it John. I'm coming home.

John: (draft) This is it Sherlock. I bought the engagement ring.

Sherlock: (draft) Oh, how I've missed London. The wind on my face, the noise of the city, the buildings and the citylights – just one thing to finish this picture of bliss. You.

Sherlock: (draft) Do you remember the times we were alive?

John: (draft) I'm going to your grave today. To say goodbye.

John: (draft) God damn it. Why can't I move on?

Sherlock: (draft) Have you moved on, John Watson?

Sherlock: (draft) I just hope you're still the same.

SHSH

SHSH

SHSH

John: (draft) A FUCKING WAITER!?

John: (draft) TWO YEARS. ONE WORD. THAT WAS ALL I NEEDED.

John: (draft) Thank you for showing me my worth in your life. Really. Thank you.

John: (draft) I wish I could hurt you the same way you hurt me.

John: (draft) But I know that if I had the chance, I wouldn't do it.

John: (draft) Go to hell, Sherlock Holmes.

John: (draft) I FUCKING HATE YOU

John: (draft) YOU...YOU PSYCHOPATH.

Sherlock: (draft) I'm sorry, John. For everything.

Sherlock: (draft) Your yells still haunt me at night.

Sherlock: (draft) For what it's worth, I really and truly loved you. And I usually regret loving at the end, but I don't. You were the best person I could have ever hoped to be friends with. I've loved you and maybe, just maybe, I regret it now. Just a little.

Sherlock: (draft) But how could I tell you?

Sherlock: (draft) How could I tell you that I loved you when you looked so happy with some other woman?

Sherlock: (draft) I didn't sign up for this.

SHSHSH

SHSHSH

SHSHSH

Sherlock: (draft) I just had a nightmare. I dreamt that I arrived at the bonfire late. Must you also reside in my dreams? Wasn't reality enough?

Sherlock: (draft) I'm so sorry John. First the Black Lotus, now the fire...I wonder if you'll come back this time.

John: (draft) You already own my heart. Now, I owe my life to you too?

Sherlock: (draft) Just when I was getting over you, you come back into my life. Reminding me of why I fell in love in the first place.

Sherlock: (draft) I'm falling in love with you all over again. And there's nothing I can do about it.

SHSHSH

SHSHSH

SHSHSH

John: (draft) WHY DO YOU KEEP PULLING SHIT LIKE THIS

John: (draft) I THOUGHT WE WOULD DIE

John: (draft) Do you know the worst part? Some part of me was happy. Happy that I was going to die with you. I hate you so much Sherlock Holmes.

John: (draft) I hate you, I hate you. I want to punch you in your effing face. I won't even avoid your nose.

Sherlock: (draft) It really is over then. I had hoped the train would change things. It has. But only for me.

Sherlock: (draft) It really is over.

SHSHSH

SHSHSH

SHSHSH

Sherlock: (draft) Best man? I've put you through hell, so my only shot at redemption is to go through it myself?

John: (draft) I love you, but I have to go now.

Sherlock: (draft) I'll just stay here, being in love with you. And then in the end, you can break my heart.

Sherlock: (draft) It's kinda funny, isn't it? Losing someone who was never yours.

John: (draft) The world can be very cruel. Showing me everything I want – and everything I will never have. Sitting next to my wife but also to the man I wanted to marry.

Sherlock: (draft) A father! Congratulations! Now, if you will excuse me, my needles need attention.

John: (draft) Why do I still think about you?

John: (draft) Especially when I know you don't?

SHSHSH

SHSHSH

SHSHSH

John: (draft) I keep seeing your face in the papers. You don't miss me even a little bit, do you?

John: (draft) I don't blame you. You warned me right at the start. Married to your work. My mistake, really.

John: (draft) But what about Janine then? Why does my brain tell me that you're manipulating her? And why does my heart desperately want it to be true? I used to be a nice person.

John: (draft) Can't I just run off to a different reality before the Fall? When we were still together? Before...all this? When it was just _us_?

John: (draft) Those two years were a test aren't they? A test of my loyalty. I failed and this is my punishment. A punishment I fully deserve.

Sherlock: (draft) Why did you come? Why were you angry at the drug den? Why do you care? Why are you still here? Why must you come into my life every time I'm close to healing?

Sherlock: (draft) You're a cruel man, John Watson.

Sherlock: (draft) But you're perfect. Never ever doubt that.

SHSH

SHSH

SHSH

John: (draft) This was not how it was supposed to be, dammit! Why did you shoot him?!

Sherlock: (draft) You're safe now. And that's all that matters.

John: (draft) You...you..you love me. Sherlock Holmes loves me. The fire, the gunshot...you love me.

John: (draft) And now it is too late. I'm so sorry.

Sherlock: (draft) So many words unsaid, so many tears unshed. Such is your legacy, John Watson.

John: (draft) You've helped me through some of the darkest parts of my life and never judged me. You have my sincere gratitude for that. Maybe in a different world, in a different time...

Sherlock: (draft) Never realized our infinity would be finite, that our forever was so limited.

Sherlock: (draft) Goodbye, John.

John: (draft) Why does this feel like goodbye?

 **A/N: This is for a friend with whom I split up quite recently.**

 **Reviews are highly appreciated.**


	3. Season 4

**A/N: The friend and I got back together, although now I'm almost wishing we haven't. I could have lived with the memory of him but I can't seem to be able to live with this new person who just says "Hi" and "Okay" but nothing else.**

 **Thank you to Ariana DeVere whose transcripts helped keep this fic completely canon-compliant.**

 **I sometimes like to pretend season 4 isn't canon. You get it.**

This time, Mycroft had no regrets tapping into Sherlock's and John's phones. With Moriarty (or his plans atleast) around, Mycroft had to protect Sherlock by any means necessary. Sherlock was blinded with grief and it haunted Mycroft every single night. Sherlock agreeing to die with a mere shrug of his shoulder, then his consequent overdose – the memories almost killed Mycroft. Unlike Sherlock, grief and anger just made Mycroft work harder. He tightened security six-fold (double the security her Majesty had), monitoring every criminal network ever known in London. He still received monthly reports on their mobile activity although Mycroft was no longer very worried about the emotional content of the texts. He had much bigger fish to fry.

Sherlock: The forensics is absolutely useless.

John: (draft) Is this...what I think this is?

John: Address?

Sherlock: 87 Argyll Road

John: On my way.

Sherlock: (draft) Maybe it is going to be okay after all.

John: (draft) Thank you God.

SHSHSHSHSHSH

John: So, you never did tell me what happened.

Sherlock: The bait was perfect. He absolutely fell for it.

Sherlock: (draft) I wish you were there.

John: Of course, amazing as usual.

SHSHSHSHSHSH

John: How's are my girls doing? :)

Sherlock: Well, I would presume.

John: Oh, sorry, wrong person.

John: (draft) I am just so used to typing your number, I suppose.

Sherlock: (draft) Aren't you supposed to go to hell _after_ you die?

Sherlock: Obviously.

SHSHSHSHSHSHSH

John: We're having a small party this weekend. A meet-the-baby sorts of thing. Please let us know if you aren't coming. Love, Mary and John.

Sherlock: (draft) Love, huh?

Sherlock: Can't make it. SH

John: (draft) You don't use SH while texting with me...Oh.

John: I know you're lying, don't even insult my intelligence by asking how.

John: Mary will kill me if you don't come to see the baby this weekend.

John: (draft) Sherlock Holmes, godfather of my child.

Sherlock: I'm very busy at the moment. SH

John: Fine. It's totally up to you really.

John: (draft) Actually, please don't come.

SHSHSHSHSHSHSH

Sherlock: Got a case, Lestrade? Could really use one right now. SH

Lestrade: No, not really. Why?

Sherlock: Mycroft, okay fine, I'll help you.

Mycroft: I don't recall asking your help for anything.

Sherlock: There must be something, brother mine.

Mycroft: Anything to get out of meeting your, no doubt, god-daughter.

Sherlock: I love her.

Mycroft: Not what I quite implied, brother dear.

Sherlock: Just go to hell, Mike.

SHSHSHSHSHSHSHSH

Sherlock: Fresh paint to disguise another smell. SH

Hopkins: That makes a lot of sense actually. Thanks Sherlock!

Sherlock: Odd socks? Arrest the brother in law. SH

Lestrade: Aren't you supposed to be in John's place seeing the baby right now?

Sherlock: If dog can't swim, neighbour is the killer. SH

Dimmock: ...Fine.

Dimmock: You'll have to explain later!

SHSHSHSHSHSH

John: Baker Street? Tomorrow five PM?

Lestrade says he has a belter.

Sherlock: (draft) Maybe it'll be oka

John: Mary says it's fine

Sherlock: (draft) My mistake.

Sherlock: I suppose. SH

SHSHSHSHSHSH

John: (draft) She lied to us again. How MANY TIMES are you going to die for her?!

John: (draft) Please stop. Fucking please.

John: (draft) I can't give you the same amount of love in return. So, please stop. I owe you way too much already.

Sherlock: (draft) So many lies. What do you see in her?

Sherlock: (draft) I guess love is irrational after all. Magnussen was right. You'd do anything for her and...I'd do anything for you.

Sherlock: (draft) I made a vow, John. I intend to honor it, no matter what.

SHSHSHSHSHSH

John: Hey

E: Hey

John: Um, hello. We met in the bus.

E: Yeah, I know! I looked it up. John :)

John: Impressive. What's up with you?

E: Just checking up on old friends! How about you, Doctor?

John: Wait, how do you know I'm a doctor!?

E: Haha, I just looked up your blog. You're quite popular ;)

John: Yeah, right, keep forgetting about that!

E: Well, everyone can't be a Holmes, can we? Some of us have to stick to good ol' stalking. :)

John: Haha true.

John: (draft) I'm sorry, I really shouldn't be doing this.

SHSHSHSHSHSHSH

E: It's been too long.

John: I know. Sorry.

E: Miss you.

John: You're up late.

E: Or early.

John: Night owl?

E: Vampire

SHSHSHSHSHSHSHSH

John: (draft) Sherlock, I have to confess.

John: (draft) I met this really nice girl and...

John: (draft) She actually kind of reminds me of you?

John: (draft) Not that I'm cheating on you with her!

John: (draft) What in the actual fuck

John: (draft) I am worried about cheating on you? I have a wife.

John: (draft) I need to talk to Mary.

John: This isn't a good idea.

I'm not free.

Things won't end well.

It was nice to get to know you a little.

I'm sorry.

E: I understand.

E: It was nice knowing you, John.

SHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSH

Sherlock: The curtain rises. The last act. It's not over. SH

Mary: I'm on my way.

Sherlock: London Aquarium. Come immediately. SH

John: Be there as soon as I can.

SHSHSHSHSH

SHSHSHSHSH

SHSHSHSHSH

John: (draft) You killed her.

Sherlock: (draft) John. I

John: (draft) She di...She thought I was the most perfect man in the world.

John: (draft) YOU KILLED MY WIFE

John: (draft) I don't ever want to see your face ever again, Sherlock Holmes.

John: (draft) If I do, you're a dead man.

Sherlock: (draft) I'm so so sorry John.

Sherlock: (draft) I don't deserve your trust. I don't deserve your love. I don't deserve you.

Sherlock: (draft) I broke the single Vow I made you.

Sherlock: (draft) I know love is a poor excuse.

John: (draft) I hate you, I hate you so much.

John: (draft) You SWORE you would protect her.

John: (draft) I wish that I had never met you. Then, there would be no need for me to want you now. No need for crying over you. No need for heartbreak. No need for pain or tears. No need for forgotten promises. No need for trying to sleep but not being able to. No need, for everything you've done to make me feel like absolutely nothing.

Sherlock: (draft) If it is only in Hell I'll get you back, so be it. I'll go to hell, Mary.

Sherlock: (draft) This is Hell anyway.

SHSHSHSHSHSH

John: (draft) Sherlock.

John: (draft) I am so sosorry.

John: (draft) Sorry my hands are shanking

John: (draft) Why Sherlock

John: (draft) WHy would you let me do this to yyou

John: (draft) I still havre yur blood in my hansd

John: (draft) I don't deserve to live.

Sherlock: (draft) It really is over then. It's over, John. It's over.

Sherlock: (draft) I don't hate you John. Never will.

Sherlock: (draft) I'm just disappointed.

Sherlock: (draft) I'm disappointed that you turned into everything you said you'd never be.

Sherlock: (draft) I'm mad at myself actually.

I'm mad for always being nice, always apologizing for the things I didn't do, for getting attached, for making you my life, depending on you, wasting my time on you, thinking about you, forgiving you, wishing for you, dreaming for you,

But most of all, for not hating you, which I know I should

But I _can't._

Sherlock: (draft) I don't miss you. I miss the man you were before, not this monster you've become.

Sherlock: (draft) Goodbye, John Watson.

Sherlock: Goodbye, John Watson.

(A/N: Please read the Lying Doctor for the non-text version of this episode. Sets the mood.)

SHSHSHSHSHSHSHSH

 _Two years later_

"Sir, Mission Drafts has been successful"

"Thank you, Rogers. You may go now" Mycroft said, immediately turning on his 221 B spy cameras.

The living room of 221 B, Baker Street was filled with text noises for the next two minutes. A very confused night-gown clad Sherlock Holmes checked his phone, not knowing what the ruckus was about.

 _"This report contains conversations between William Sherlock Scott Holmes and other people, which include Mycroft Holmes and John Hamish Watson during the time period codenamed Search._

 _Please note that these conversations have been arranged in chronological order and the details have been omitted for the sake of brevity._

 _Also note that these reports contain the following messages – messages that have been sent, messages that failed to reach the other person due to network issues and messages stored as drafts."_

 _Part III: William Sherlock Scott Holmes and John Hamish Watson._

After a suspenseful ten minutes, Sherlock sent a single text to John.

*New Notif! Sherlock has forwarded you a text chain from Mycroft Holmes!*

 **A/N: If it was unclear, Mycroft just sent all the texts as a text chain to Sherlock. Only Sherlock because he respects Sherlock's space. It was Sherlock's decision, not his.**

 **Might do an epilogue if anyone is interested.**

 **I saw this post about how Eurus lures John in with Sherlock-like eyes and speech while she lures Sherlock in with John-like walking cane and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it ever since.**

 **This entire fic is canon-compliant. Slightly OCD about that.**

 **I watched Patrick Melrose and the Imitation Game. I want to talk about it so badly! Please PM me!**

 **Reviews make my day! :)**


End file.
